Originally posted December 17, 2020
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This holiday season has been even more chaotic than usual. A few days before Thanksgiving, my husband and I closed on an old farmhouse that needed much updating. The weeks since have been spent frantically running between our apartment and the house, as the contractors and we worked day and night to repair, refinish, and rebuild. It required a lot of purchases -- a new bathtub, toilets, lighting fixtures, and more. This reality brought us into Lowe’s Home Improvement more frequently than I’ve ever been in my entire life. It was all fine and sort of fun until we started packing the apartment last week in preparation for move-in day. Rather suddenly, the gaiety transitioned to guilt.
For the past five years, we have lived in a 2-bedroom apartment with a loft. Downstairs we also have a one-car garage and a small storage space. It was supposed to be a downsize from our 3-bedroom home with a basement, attic, and 2-car garage. It sure didn’t feel like a downsize as we pulled stuff out of closets, cabinets, drawers, the garage, and the storage space. “How could we possibly need all of this stuff?” I asked my husband as he tried to maintain his packing momentum and positive attitude amidst my dwindling mood and stamina. He didn’t respond. “There are people who live with what they can carry on their backs!” I snapped (as if it was all his fault). He remained silent and kept his mind on his task as I moved on to the front hallway closet. “How many coats do we need?! This is so embarrassing! How many shoes do I need?! You would think I was the vice president with all of these blazers!” I shouted as my frustration and guilt heightened. This pattern continued until I finally couldn’t take it anymore and gave up. I sat depressed for the remainder of the night, wondering how and why we accumulated all this stuff.
The sad thing is that we’ve been purchasing more for the house as we are emptying stuff out of the apartment. Thankfully, we were able to buy many used items at auctions. If you haven’t done that yet, I highly recommend it. It’s quite an education on how much stuff exists in this world. Auction companies sell the entire contents of homes when people move or otherwise vacate their property. Every item in the house is auctioned, from large items like appliances, furniture, and riding lawn mowers to small items like decorative trinkets, jewelry, electrical wires, extension cords, plastics, glassware, tools, books, clothing, framed pictures and paintings, and so much more. It really gives you a glimpse into the many things that each of us has in our homes. When you do this as often as we have lately, you start to wonder why anything is still being manufactured. What would happen if they shut down most manufacturing plants for a year? I feel confident that we could all survive quite comfortably on whatever is currently on this planet. There is already so much stuff that the auction companies often can’t even give it away for a dollar. Have you tried to give stuff to the Salvation Army recently? In our area, they aren’t taking many items because they have too much and don’t have room for it.
It doesn’t help that all of this is happening at Christmastime, as I watch shoppers bustling in and out of stores purchasing more stuff. It’s a tradition that I’ve long believed has to be updated, perhaps like the farmhouse we just bought. When I was a little girl, gifts were few and far between. We weren’t as near the height of the age of consumerism as we are today. Gifts were a rarity, and stuff was more limited. So, when we received a gift, it was something very special, no matter how small. Today, most of us probably can’t think of what to buy for others because there is little they need or want that they cannot purchase for themselves. Still, we are driven to buy bigger, better, and newer stuff by the holiday hype, nostalgia, and guilt. Make no mistake. These feelings are generated by big businesses that know exactly how to tug at our heartstrings and wallets.
How can we update this tradition? We can begin by simply pausing to pray before purchasing and reflecting on the underlying motivation to give. Then we can ask God for guidance on how we can give in a way that will be a blessing to the recipient, the environment, and the rest of the world. We can be silent and listen to that still small inner voice, the one that whispers to me every time I walk into Lowe’s. It usually asks, “is this a need or a want?” Perhaps we can give our time, talents, and treasures and really believe that these are the best gifts of all, despite what that TV commercial tells us. We can then tell those greedy businesses to “stuff it!” We have enough stuff! We can say “no” to what has been and “yes” to the Spirit guiding us from within to find unique and more life-giving ways to give.
Read more reflections in When on Earth: Discovering Christian Spirituality in the Daily Happenings of Ordinary Life.